In Bernie Sanders’ Alternate Universe, Abortion is a Constitutional Right

In Bernie Sanders’ Alternate Universe, Abortion is a Constitutional Right

Courtesy of Def-Con News

Democrats absolutely hate the Constitution, socialists even more, because it stands between them and completely destroying this country. As such, they ignore the parts they don’t like and make up things that don’t exist to push their anti-American unconstitutional agenda. For example, Bernie Sanders says that abortion is a Constitutional right despite there being no such affirmation of baby-killing rights in the document. Living in an alternate universe is a lot easier on the delusional kooks of the Democrats party.

Here it is:

Abortion is a constitutional right – not a privilege for those who can afford it.

Really? What part of the Constitution says abortion is a protected right? The Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision which legalized abortion cited a woman’s right to privacy, which is the most ridiculous ruling in the court’s history. There is, however, no mention of abortion or anything like it in the Constitution.

After a little research, it turns out that Democrats have been using the alternate universe Constitution to frame all of their absurd arguments. As luck would have it, Def-Con News obtained an exclusive copy of this document:


Bill of Privileges

First Amendment – Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof unless you don’t accept gay marriage; or abridging the freedom of speech as long as it’s approved liberal speech, or of the press but the press must be positive propaganda for the Democrats party or it’s banned.

Second Amendment – Nothing to see here. Move along, sparky.

Third Amendment – Killing babies, being necessary for freedom of responsibility, the right to abortion shall not be infringed and the government is going to pay for it.

Fourth Amendment – The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated except when Democrats want to delegitimize a Republican President or spy on political opponents.

Fifth Amendment – No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except the aforementioned Republican President.

Sixth Amendment – In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed except for when Democrats don’t like the results of a free and fair election in which case they may railroad a duly-elected Republican President.

Seventh Amendment – In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, lazy people are entitled to the money earned by productive people as long as the government gets a cut.

Eighth Amendment – Expecting people to repay their student loans is cruel and unusual punishment so excessive bailouts shall be required.

Ninth Amendment – Illegal aliens and transgendered people shall not be disparaged and enjoy certain rights not retained by the people.

Tenth Amendment – The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the Democratic party and if the people don’t like it they can bear it like President Trump.

No wonder the Democrats are so delusional. They are going off the wrong Constitution. Suddenly it makes perfect sense. Somebody should get these clowns a copy of the real Constitution. Boy are they going to feel silly when they read what the actual rights of the people are.


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